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Are You Waiting for Some Fantasy Man? (FemiType #4: The Wow-Me Woman)

Even as a little boy, imagining that feeling of warmth was intoxicating. It still appears everywhere today.

Just recently, I watched the movie Kimi no na wa Your Name and expectedly, experienced a film driven by the notion of soul-mates. It truly is a beautiful and exciting fantasy.

Unplug From The Fantasy Of Romantic Love – Fit Yourself Club

And this fantasy sells. Just take a look at the older Disney movies.

Snow White, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast are a few examples of exciting, daring narratives encompassing the soul-mate myth. Just ask all the divorced or widowed people who have remarried after their soul-mate has passed.

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True love is a very recent phenomenon too. We live in a society which has more-or-less just recently developed the idea of Romanticism.

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Romanticism was a cultural movement which preferred intuition and emotion over rationalisation which began in the late 18th Century, which is relatively recent on an evolutionary scale.

Before Romanticism, people were matched and married not based on feelings, but as a ceremony to merge families together. They were matched based on social status, health and other utilitarian factors.

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While Romanticism did positively shape artistic endeavours into what they are today among many other benefitsit murdered love. It taught us to follow our instincts.

But what if our instincts are fucked up? Emotional triggers are formed in childhood, and every time we meet someonetreats us in a similar way that our caregivers did, we feel the rush of emotion. Some people might have bigger bags of shit, but we all have a bag of shit nonetheless.

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I did what I do best: projected a sparkling, glittery, unreal fantasy onto her. This is the place where I'm going to finally meet people whom I connect with on a level far She didn't look stylish and lithe like I had remembered. For years, my favorite fantasy has been consistent: A hot stranger takes me . "I' m traveling alone and meet a man at the hotel bar. He comes. Fantasy Premier League: Meet the boss who beat million managers to "If I' ve got a fantasy player in my team or someone I'm looking at.

And we look for people who fill our bag of shit. Talking is seen as a sign of not being able to understand each other.

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We can feel our enmeshed identity separating itself from the relationship. The reality is that we are a little crazy.

We might not think it, but we certainly have unhealthy reactions to normal occurrences. And nobody will truly understand our crazy. Our parents, our friends and even our partners will never truly understand us.

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And we will never truly understand them. To understand each other better, we should be communicating.

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Being grounded in reality will reduce the amount of pitfalls and tum-drops you experience in your relationships. I wish for you healthy and sustainable relationships in the future.

If you enjoyed this story, follow me for more. I love to analyse and write about whatever jazzes up my curiosity.

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Be sure to hit the heart so others can see it too and feel free to respond with your thoughts. Sign in Get started. Jan 6, Never miss a story from Fit Yourself Clubwhen you sign up for Medium. Learn more. Get updates Get updates.